Tuesday, April 20, 2010

whirlwind...


that is how my life is going right now, completely out of focus.

I am like this great big momma hen trying to get all my chicks back under my wings and just about the time I think I have them all tucked and filed away neatly I find that 2 or 3 have escaped and another is ready to pop out! Arrrgghhhh!! I am so not a chaos person. I like my schedules. I like my boring little life to be practically the same week after week! I like knowing what I am going to be doing in two weeks so that I can plan a little about how it will happen.

Please dear goddess all of things right and whole, put my life back on it little rusty track and let me ramble on.

My life now includes emphysema. What this appears at the moment to mean, is that I will never again not be short of breath. Ok, I can deal with that right. I now have a good excuse for not training for a 20k marathon. simple... right. No, apparently it means more than that. I don't have all the facts yet, but I will. I hope.

What I really need now is to know that this is it. This is wear it stops. This needs to be what I have and no more, "well we thought it was.........but now we think it is...." What has happened to me is I have gone from allergies, to worse than usual allergies... ummm.. to bronchial inflammation to congestive heart failure to ... (please be the last) emphysema. This has been in the last 6 weeks.

If anyone out there in blogland has the magical ability to make this dervish I currently am calling my life stop spinning... I beg of you.. please. Pretty please.

I know deep down in the dusty logical parts of my brain that I am still extremely lucky and should just be thankful I wake up above ground. Look at me for heavens sake.. I have and am typing on a computer and having it go out over the entire planet! I do know this ... somewhere, deep down there..... I just need a a tiny bit of focus to bring it back to the forefront.

Ramble, ramble... vent. Ok... done.

On with the show!

till next time, the Oz

photo credit: Églantine on flickr

21 comments:

  1. Oh, Oz. What sucky suck suck news... sorry you have to go through all of that... sending good vibes your way, baby :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Missy Linda, I am so glad that you are getting "results". I know it may not be the answers you wanted, but at least now you can start to get a handle on this situation. Know that I have been thinking of you lots & lots lately. Wishing you all the best & sending huge hugs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Holy toledo.. major prayers for you Miss Oz... major prayers.. My father had conjestive heart failure...you do not want the circumstances, trust me...our the outcome. But I remember the night vividly... almost 20 years ago....
    I am so glad you are up and about and can type! And have a diagnosis.
    Haleluja!!!!
    Here is hoping you have many more full moons to dance under..
    hugs and kisses...

    ReplyDelete
  4. And hugs from me, too. I know you well enough to know that you will handle this with humor and grace. Keeping you in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Linda, I am praying for you each day. I pray that you will find peace and that the whirlwind stops and calm comes SOON! That a plan of action relieves some stress and provides you some relief. My dear friend, we are all here for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want to be clever and witty and exclaim "you ALWAYS leave ME breathless!" .... with your amazing art, hilarious banter and WONDERFUL friendship.... And then, after that... I got nothing.

    Nothing, except to say that while most of us {I'm assuming, here!} don't have exactly the kind of magic to make life step OFF and stop dealing you so much CHAOS... We DO, very much have the collective power to hold you in thoughts and prayers and SHOWER you with white light, indeed! WE can do THAT! We can LOVE you right though this mighty blog-o-sphere with such wonder and strength, they haven't even invented the technology to measure it!

    So, gee. S'pose I found some words. I just know that I treasure you. If there is any earthly thing {beyond prayer and positive thinking...} that I can do for you, I hope you'll let me know. Your spirit is GIGANTIC and you have a heart that clearly matches. Be strong and {let yourself} be loved.

    So, wishing I lived NEAR to you, my sweet. But,again, with all that this particular technology will allow me to... I'm here for you! I love you, sweet Linda AKA.... OZ {the GREAT and powerful! Eh!?! THAT'S RIGHT!!!}

    xoXO!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Linda, you have been in my thoughts and prayers. Having a diagnosis is a major step in the right direction, with diagnosis comes treatment and a chance to discover your new "normal". I'm praying your life will settle back into your comfortable little routine soon.
    Sending love and a big bear hug your way....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Oz, I've been wondering where you were and what was going on... guessed it was something big. It's good to get a diagnosis because then the endless merry-go-round of tests and investigations becomes directed into something far more meaningful and useful ie some actual help and support for you. Please know that you've got lots of friends here in Blogland that are thinking of you and sending you love and support. Keep strong my dear and funny friend, Jo x

    ReplyDelete
  9. How like you to be so funny and positive about what is happening to you Oz.... I'm glad you now have a reason for all the problems... believe me it's half the battle won....You now know what you are dealing with...and can get on with dealing with it... my thoughts and prayers are with you my dear. Keep up your spirits and know we all love you

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Oz so sorry that you have had all these weeks of misery, but at last you have a diagnosis which always helps when you understand what you are dealing with. Sorry to hear that you have emphysema I am sending you lots of hugs and hope things improve a little for you.
    Sallyx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Linda! So many have said it so wonderfully before me, especially that Elise who has such a way with WORDS! But I add my voice to the chorus! Having the diagnosis will now lead to the right course of treatment and we all want you back making us laugh and cry and wowing us with your amazing creativity! My thoughts and prayers are with you! Love you!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Tjeeez this is a major bummer. I had to google wat it all involved and girl, this aint no picnic. I'm so sorry this has to happen to you. Sending you thoughts of well wishing and please keep your spirits high.

    ReplyDelete
  13. sending you big hugs, Linda! i am so glad to hear from you again, but hated it to here the news... please take good care.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh sweet momma OZ :( So sorry to her the news, but knowing is power now!! You can and will deal with this like everything else...HUMOR and laughs are one of the best medicines around!! You are always in my thoughts, keep us updated ok? Sending LOTS of HUGS TRace XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. sorry for the above...here's the comment again.
    This well and truly sucks. I know you will find your equilibrium soon and deal, but know you can vent whenever you want to! And now, with my magic wand, I shall put an end to the madness and it stops here. Blessings, Miss Oz, for all the days of your long life.
    charlene

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oz.... missed you hanging out over on HA... what positively crappy news... no matter which way you slice it.... and I know you... slice it you will.... and dissect..... and so on.

    But you are an amazingly positive person with an ability to make people happy, think positively and smile. You will return to that non chaos state quicker than you can imagine (fingers and toes crossed for you!) Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers - so sorry to hear that the last number of weeks have been so Crappy! Let's not mince our words here!!!

    Sending you hugs across the ocean (and smiles). Xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sooo sorry to read about your health issues, Oz! :( I know what it's like to feel like you're struggling to breathe. I've had really bad asthma all my life. Although it's improved recently, when I was younger I can't even count how many times I had to stay at the hospital for my asthma. It's defintely no fun!
    I really hope things improve for you!
    I'll keep you in my thoughts! Please stay positive and optimistic! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh OZ...I'm so sorry you have been sick...I wondered where you were over at HA...
    I will pry for you and hope you will feel better soon...your in my thoughts!!
    Big Hugs to you.....

    ReplyDelete
  20. Elise said it so well... I know our collective prayers and hope for your well being will uplift and support you in ways you may never realize. I also know only too well your feelings in this post (been there.) Keep blogging them here... shout and vent and scream. You don't have to go this alone, on your own two feet. Let us help.

    ReplyDelete

Please take a moment, knowing you stopped just makes me giddy!